Spiders gift-wrap first playoff game for Nighthawks, in 11–1 rout

March 26, 2014

First-seed Nighthawks controlled the first round-robin game in every possible way.

Breakways. Giveaways. Behind-the-net scrums. Screens. Deflections. Spiders’ sticks. Spiders’ hips. Spiders’ skates. And even a 3-on-5 shorthanded goal. The Nighthawks put the puck in the Spiders’ net in every imaginable way.

After a relatively even first period, the Spiders apparently turned into a pile of orange cones, and were unable to do anything but watch in shock as the Nighthawks took over as though the Spiders had completely forgotten how to skate or pass, unless it was tape-to-tape right to the opponent in scoring position.

By the time it was just minutes into the runtime-clock third period, the Spiders’ captain was begging the refs to check the rulebook for a double-runtime clock option.

The lone glimmer of offense came early in the third, when the Spiders cut the lead to 8–1 on a beautiful press by D. Dr. Droullard, getting the puck from Schuster, and scooped up by Schwinn in front to beat the Nighthawks’ netminder Jenn Stone, who played lights out the rest of the game.

The only other place the Spiders got on the scoresheet was in the penalty department. The refs eventually found their whistles after realizing the let-them-play mantra probably shouldn’t apply to the C3 level. But even over a minute of 5-on-3 went in the Nighthawks’ favor, as #34 Mark “Hat Trick” Zeitz blew by three Spiders on what sounded like a called play for the Nighthawks. Notably, Paul “Repeat Offender” Berman was called for a trip late in the third, his first penalty of the season. Even more notably, #25 John “Wasn’t me this time!” McDonald managed to stay out of the box for the first time this season.

When it was all said and done, this one goes in the books as the Spiders’ worst playoff loss in franchise history. The previous low-water mark was on April 6, 2005, when the Spiders lost 10–3 to the Sled Dogs in the AHA Beginner playoffs. And overall, it’s the worst loss since March 15, 2008, when the Royals took it to the Spiders 10–0 in the last game of the 2007–08 season (a season filled with double-digit losses).

Farewell

Tonight’s game also marks the last game for the Spiders of Andy Schwinn. The Spiders wish Andy the best, on his second retirement.

Next up

The Spiders are back in action on Friday night, against the Fighting Loons, to see if they can resurrect any playoffs hope of a point, let alone erase the goal differential for a potential tiebreaker.

Pool watch

While the other games in the C3 pools clearly paled in comparison to the goal-feast for the Nighthawks/Spiders game, other results around town:

• Third-seed (and short-benched … 10 skaters) Maroons beat the first-seed Fighting Piranhas 2–1
• Second-seed Wingmen shut out the fourth-seed Ak Bars 4–0
• And on the same Eden Prairie 3 ice sheet, the second-seed Fighting Loons gave up an early goal to the fourth-seed Sled Dogs, but battled back in a PIM-fest to win 3–1.

All four games in round 2 are on Friday night at Braemar:

• Fighting Piranhas vs. Ak Bars at 7 p.m.
• Nighthawks vs. Sled Dogs at 7:10 p.m.
• Wingmen vs. Maroons at 8:40 p.m.
• And Fighting Loons vs. Spiders, at 8:50 p.m.

Come out to Braemar Friday night, to see if the Spiders can perform better than the orange drill cones they looked like against the Nighthawks.

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