Spiders, Jets resurrect Federal League in misconduct-fest at Highland – Updated

March 1, 2008

The night started out with the typical Spiders’ drama. Who’s gonna be there tonight? Well, it was “good news, bad news” scenario. The good news was the elder statesman of the team, Paul Lacosse, was feeling well enough that he wanted to give it a go. The bad news was that Marc Berris was notified by his alarm service that his office’s alarm had been triggered (broken window), so he was out for the evening. So that left our local heroes with nine skaters for the evening. Oh joy!

The first period started out with a bang. Mike “Monty” Montgomery scored his third goal of the season, with an assist from Mike Johnson and Bob Jensen. The Spiders were able to maintain that lead through the end of the period.

The second period started out with the Jets flying high, capitalizing on two quick Power Play goals. But the Spiders quickly retaliated with a goal from John McGrane (first of the season!), with assists from Paul Lacosse and Bob Jensen. The score was tied 2–2, but not for long.

The Jets revved up their little engines and scored two more goals within a minute timespan, pushing the score to 4–2.

That’s when all heck (politically corrected) broke loose. The Jets’ biggest goon, Dave Perdue, decided that the ref’s whistle was merely a suggestion to stop play, and tried to slice the puck loose from Derer’s glove, five, six or seven times. Derer and Perdue ended up mano a mano behind the Spiders’ goal, with an innocent bystander, Dave Schaefer, trying to pull the two combatants apart. After all was said and done, the three players were given game misconducts and were tossed from the game. The Spiders were down to eight total players and no goalie. At that point, a basically close game was over. The Jets scored another Power Play marker to finish out the period 5–2.

The third period was basically the Jets throwing shots from all over the rink, trying to load up on stats, since the net was open. Classy team.

The Spiders did score one last goal, Ted Samsel from Mike Johnson. The final score ended up being 13–3.

After the game, Captain Bob could be overheard saying something about “Anger Management classes might be needed” for the team.

In the post-game interview, the Jets’ Dave Perdue stated, “If Derer put half as much energy into stopping goals as he did in trying to pound my face in, maybe the Spiders would not get so caught in their own web!” Not one to let sleeping spiders lie, Perdue continued, “Fact is, although I didn’t want to own up to it with my teammates, I’m really at fault in all this. I had been chirping at Derer, accusing him of intentionally knocking the net off, and I even threatened him with bodily harm … I was going to ‘lumberjack him’ were my exact words …. The ref even had to pull me away from him. Well, I guess my emotions got the better of me, because, sure enough, next time I’m in front of their crease, I figured I’d show him my woodworking talent, and went after his glove a bunch of times, long after the whistle. I guess I should’t be surprised at how he and the rest of the Spiders reacted. Hey, I’d do the exact same thing if someone tried that on the ‘San Man.’ We’re all in this for fun, and I guess I took it too far.”

The remaining Spiders in attendance wished Mike “The Dominator” Derer farewell, since he is essentially suspended from the AHA until the fall of the 2009–10 season. Good luck, Mike!

[Note: Full game stats are now available, the delay due to illegibility on the scoresheet.]