Spiders ‘Battle At The Park’ Ends In A Tie…

Jan. 29, 2012

It promised to be an exciting contest this past Sunday as your 2nd-place Spiders faced off against the 3rd-place Zephyrs. The Spider fans came out in large numbers to see a high-speed, high-energy challenge that no hockey fan would want to miss. It turned out to be a contest better suited for your AWA faithful.

The fans would soon realize that on this night, it was a full moon. On this night, the Zephyr Circus was in town... A gong-show affair with all of their goons, hacks, convicts and stiffs all cracking the line-up. Not since Carl Racki and the Thunder Bay Bombers has the AHA seen this brand of nonsense.

The game started out with all the promise you would expect from 2 contenders. Fast skating, crisp passing and solid goaltending (both ways). It was the Spiders though, who would draw first blood. Opening up an early lead and exposing the Zephyrs’ Achilles heel (good clean hockey) by dominating play throughout the first 17. They outshot the Zeph’s 12-5 in the first frame and took an early 3-0 lead on goals from Thorson, Adelman and Harnett.

Realizing they could not compete in the speed game, the Zeph’s dialed up the physicality in the 2nd. While the spiders were still winning the races to the puck, it appeared the Zeph’s were winning the battles. This is a strategy that proved fruitful as they were able to crack the Spider code and sneak 2 rare goals past Spider All-Star Brian Dow. With only 17 to play, we had ourselves a nail-biter. Spiders 3, Zeph’s 2.

During the intermission, a strange howling noise could be heard throughout the stadium. While it was believed to be coming from outside the building...further review proves that as the moonlight was shining in the window, the Zephyr team went through some form of chemical imbalance. Like Dr. David Brennan turning green or Norman Bates longing for his mom, the moon brought out the “Zephyr Goon Squad.” Tallying 20 minutes in penalties in the 3rd period alone...for the Zeph’s; the stick became a weapon, fair play became an afterthought and the vulgarities came lashing out at every opportunity. After witnessing the spectacle, Spider captain Dave Schliesman was quoted as saying, “That was a disgrace. Maybe in the Schwann’s League. Maybe in the Stillwater Penitentiary League. Not here, this is the AHA! There is no room for that nonsense here.” It was tough to watch and even more difficult to play. The street thug strategy proved a successful one for the Zephyrs as they evened the score and held on in overtime for a 4-4 tie despite skating in a 5-on-3 situation.

In the end, the Spiders maintain their stature as the better team in the standings and the Zephyrs widened their stranglehold as the league’s most penalized team.

It is rumored that when the Zephyrs returned to their locker room following the game, they were greeted with an invitation to skate in the Schwann’s League for next season (presumably from AHA league coordinator Pete Morrow)...will they take advantage of the offer...one can only hope.