Spider Great Doug Thorson Announces Retirement

April 26, 2011

After six great seasons in the familiar red and white sweater of the Spiders, Doug Thorson has announced his retirement. Consistent with his humble nature, Doug wanted to step away quietly, but his contributions need some sort of acknowledgement.

The Spiders franchise record book will list Doug’s name in several categories:

Most career assists with 73.
Most games played at the C2 level with 86.
Second in games played as a Spider with 124 over the C2/D2 level.
Second in career scoring with 113 (40 G – 73 A – 113 P).
Most assists in a game with four – November 14, 2006.

While Doug’s career numbers are impressive, they don’t nearly capture everything he brought to the team. Doug consistently led by example, skating hard every shift and doing all the important things – digging the puck out of the corner, driving hard to the net, dropping back and covering for pressing defensemen, backchecking with urgency, etc., etc.

Doug was often the center of the top line but was always the heart and soul of the team. Long-time linemates Dave Schliesman and Jim Maietta are first and third in Spiders franchise scoring. Both would attest that their hefty totals owe a lot to Doug’s hard work and smart play.

Though Doug may have been the oldest player on the team, his conditioning was legendary. It was often joked that Doug only got off the ice because his linemates were changing. Doug, too humble to agree yet too honest to protest, just smiled and enjoyed the ribbing.

Many players manage to log a lot of ice time without spending time in the penalty box. Often it’s because they spend their time drifting out to the point in the defensive zone, shy away from the high traffic areas in front of the net, or generally play soft defense and avoid any semblance of contact. Doug, on the other hand, does all the difficult things yet stays out of the box. How? He moves his feet to get in position rather than hacking at his opponents, he respects other players and keeps his stick down, and outworks other skaters rather than hooking and holding. The result is only 28 penalty minutes in his career.

If the AHA gave out awards like the NHL, Doug would certainly be an annual finalist for the Lady Byng (gentlemanly play) and Selke (defensive forward) trophies.

Other highlights and achievements from Doug’s career:

Doug took the first penalty shot in Spiders history on November 26, 2006. Occasional Spider sub goaltender Chris Trinh got the best of Doug this time but the Spiders got the win 6–4 over the Jets.
Notched a hat trick on November 17, 2005, to lead the Spiders to their first win in D2. Final score – 7–4 over the Nighthawks.
31 career multi-point games, including a five-point game on November 14, 2006. Doug scored one goal and had four assists in a 10–0 romp over the Moose.
Career record of 68–49–7, including a record of 6–5–1 in the playoffs.

All these accomplishments are great and the Spiders will certainly be a worse team on the ice without him. Yet none of this is how Doug will be remembered most. There are certain people that you meet that are almost too nice, too genuine, and too friendly to be real. Doug is one of them.

Story time… On December 6, 2009, Josh Cagle, Bob Harnett and Mark Bortnem all received game misconducts for calling the referee a “moron” (allegedly) and “idiot” (allegedly). The league allows players to appeal game misconducts and Josh Cagle appeared before the disciplinary committee. Cagle was explaining how the official missed a cross check to the head of a teammate and said, “the entire team was screaming at the official.” After a moment of thought, Cagle revised his comment to, “everyone except Doug Thorson, he’s too nice a guy.” Several members of the disciplinary committee, stone faced until that moment, immediately smiled and agreed as Doug is apparently universally well-liked.

With any luck, this stirring tribute to Doug will inspire him to Favre-ian un-retirement. Or maybe even some appearances as a sub next season. If not, happy trails, Doug.

Whoever takes your place will have big shoes and a lot of ice time to fill. One thing is for certain, they will never wear the #45 as the number will be retired and raised to the rafters of mythical Spiders Arena.